I thought I lost my mind

Hey there!

So, I’ve got this wild story to share with you—a recent experience that left me in awe of the whole spiritual journey.

Picture this: I wake up, all set to dive into my morning devotional. But then, when I glance in the mirror, I don’t recognize the person looking back at me. Weird, right? So much so that I asked my husband to inspect me but to him I looked normal. As I’m checking out my hands and feet, they start looking like they’re withering away. Cue a bit of panic! But instead of freaking out, the only thing that comes out of my mouth is a song of worship— “Here is my worship…all of my worship.” Next thing I know, I’m praying in this heavenly language, desperately seeking answers. I’m on my knees, wondering if God is turning away from me because of recent disobedience. It’s a real heart-to-heart moment, and He reassures me, saying, “I won’t leave you.” Then He drops the bombshell: “it’s an attack on your mind”.

I’m not gonna lie; I felt full blown fear in the moment before God reassured me. I would liken this to the fear of God. When God confirmed what it was, I then started to take form. I started to prepare for battle. I got armed with the scriptures and I found comfort in Leviticus 19:31, “…I am the Lord YOUR God.” I started speaking the name Jesus! Every time I say His name, it was reminding the enemy of whose I am. I then asked my husband and the WOW community to cover me and pray for a sound mind.

Fast forward to church, and I’m feeling like there’s a full-on war inside my head. I can’t shake this disorientation. Then, out of nowhere, I crash into sleep on my husband (never happened in church before). Until…..it was time for communion. This was my moment…another weapon in my arsenal…I knew that if I could just have the physical representation of Jesus’ body and blood inside of me, that was all I needed. I prayed for the bread and wine to drive out whatever storm was inside of me. I said this is the closest I can get to touching you Jesus. And guess what? It couldn’t have taken more than 10 minutes before I felt the disorientation leaving me. But there’s more….

After hashing it out with hubby and a friend, we connected the dots. You see for the past 6 weeks, I have been doing ‘7-weeks of self deliverance’ with my WOW Community (Women Obeying God’s Word), which is a group of women who are focused on faithful obedience. We had just completed week 6 where we were working on renewing the mind. IKR? When hubby, my friend and I replayed my prayer at the end of week 6, many things stood out for us: asking for a new experience to connect with God; naming the attack and speaking directly to this one particular arrow that landed; and tearing down barriers that block our connection with God. Let’s just say, it is clear, we started a war.

Looking back, I’m convinced a major shift went down when we prayed that day to close off week 6; not just for me but in the WOW community having heard feedback from some of the ladies. It led to an attack on my mind and as crazy as it sounds, God used it to deliver a message and I am sharing it with you:

  • Your mind is your weakness but it can be most powerful when you surrender it to God.
  • You have released disobedience in your heart but you have not detached from it mentally.
  • If you continue to hold on to disobedience and do not let go, you will surely wither away.

I can testify that I have officially let go of any mental attachments I have to the recent disobedience in my life and I look forward to continuing my journey of faithful obedience to God.

You may be wondering why I took the time to share this experience. Simple. We are all doing this thing called life together and need some encouragement along the way. With mental health, depression and other experiences on the rise, sometimes you need to be reminded that some experiences are temporary attacks from the enemy sent to permanently separate you from God. When you feel it happening, remember to call His name! Be encouraged.

With love,


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